You are sitting on your bed, looking forlorn. You feel the tears rising; blurring your vision. Your phone rings but you cannot bring yourself to pick it up. You just stare into space and you ask yourself, “how did I get here”? Uncle just called to say he would not be able to come and see you and you are looking like you just lost someone. The tears finally roll down your cheeks as you recall how he snapped at you two hours earlier saying he is too busy. You’re on the brink of losing your emotional sanity. You have become CLINGY!
This is the case of most persons in their various relationships regardless of how promising it looks. You must understand that being clingy is a toxic dating habit. It stems from the fear of being abandoned and low self-esteem. As a result, constant reassurance and closeness is sought by the clingy partner. How can you tell you are clingy?
5 TELLTALE SIGNS YOU ARE CLINGY
Monitoring your partner’s social media activity.
You want to always go through your partner’s phone, finding your way to their social media platforms to read their messages. You even check their friend lists constantly. Sometimes you make harsh accusations from the information you get from such escapades.
Questioning their friendship with others
You feel threatened by your partner’s friends of the opposite sex. You want to know their whereabouts at all times. In extreme cases, you even go by places you know your partner hangs out; you’re obsessed about knowing everything he or she does.
Neglecting your friends
You no longer have the time for your friends. You give excuses in order not to go out so that you can spend all the time with your partner. It is dangerous to make your partner in the center of your being. You both had separate lives before you met.
Being overly jealous.
Jealousy is a necessary evil in every relationship but when it’s extreme, it becomes unhealthy. You are not comfortable at all with members of the opposite sex coming close to your partner. This could lead to being too possessive.
WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT BEING CLINGY.
Being clingy makes your partner withdraw from you, it creates negative tension gradually and may even lead to a break up if not curbed. So it is important that you fix it. First of all, you should have honest conversations with your partner; communication is key. Also, set up boundaries whenever you feel like going through your partner’s phone.
Most of the time, there’s really nothing there but because you have such thoughts already, you’re always suspicious. Know when to draw the line in your relationship. And most importantly, make sure you’re not idle. Get busy! The idle mind, they say, is the devil’s workshop. Go out, hang out with friends, find satisfaction in spending time with yourself.
You can also agree with your partner to talk to someone, a counselor or a mentor. DO NOT keep to yourself. Make the effort to be in a healthy relationship so that you do not lose your emotional sanity.