Connect with us

Lifestyle

First Born Syndrome: How To Overcome It

Published

on

I was sitting on a pear tree, with my legs dangling from the branch; I would scream time and again at a sibling as they chased each other in a circle. Then unconsciously, I would take a glance at the street which led to our compound for signs of daddy’s white Peugeot 504.

Then, I would go back to watching my siblings play. I always wondered how they did it. I didn’t know how to play, neither did I get the chance to. I was told at every opportunity to look after the children. I was always scared of making mistakes, I wanted to please dad and mom, always waiting for a word of encouragement to tell me how I’ve been doing a good job. It never came. “Proooooom, prooooom”, came the sound of daddy’s car from a distance, jolting me out of my reverie. My siblings were already at the door, struggling all at once, to enter the house before daddy’s car came into the compound. You’d have thought they were being chased by a masquerade.

I quickly jumped down from the tree and ran inside to close the door. When daddy came into the house, guess what…we looked like innocents; he met all 6 of us, in our room, engrossed with reading, like we’ve been busy all day. We only raised our heads to welcome him and went back to reading. After my dad went to his room, the siblings started chuckling. My next reaction was to whisper to them to be quiet. Sometimes, they listen, sometimes they don’t.


Being a first child can be stressful, yes, it has its benefits; but you can be in a lot of pressure. Especially when it’s being drummed in your ears at every slight chance that you have a lot of responsibilities, be it to watch the siblings or as regards the household chores. We can be controlled when taking charge of these responsibilities, which can lead to excess stress for a child who already feels pressure to be perfect. How can you help these “mini-adults”?


How To Overcome Firstborn Syndrome.


Try not to overload the child in proportion to his/her age or capabilities. Provide opportunities for the child to play and relax. They learned how to be mini-adults so fast they’ve forgotten how to play. They need vocal permission to be kids. I never saw myself as a kid; I always felt grown up and thought that that was all there was to be an adult. Leadership skills should be encouraged by asking them to teach their siblings with love, how to perform tasks. The first child has the tendency to be bossy; sometimes giving commands the way they’ve seen their parents do. This habit has to be curbed at its early stage. Encourage and praise him/her at intervals, because they can do anything to please their parents and meet up to expectation; and when this is not forthcoming, they feel miserable because they believe they’ve failed. Be careful of the words you say to them. Spend quality time with them, talk to them in a casual manner; not drilling them with questions on homework or responsibilities.


Conclusively, firstborn children should be appreciated; let them know that you recognize their worth, shower then with love and make sure you lead by example, the values of saying, “sorry”, “please” and “thank you”.

 541 viewing this post

Over 150,000 Monthly Visits Become our Face Of The Week here
Share your story with us: Click Here
For Adverts and Publicity on this blog, Click Here
Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Lifestyle

Talents: Holding Back In Fear Or Building On Them?

Published

on

My name is Stephen Umezurike and this is the story of how I went passed my fears, believing that I can be better. Today when i see how well I’ve grown as a singer and how good and different I sound, I believe that indeed growth is an achievable feat.

I had a rocky start as a singer, there were days where I felt like I didn’t have any talent and couldn’t sing. I was a great child singer and I remember getting a lot of candy and stick sweets singing Benita’s “Osemudiame”.

However as I grew older, it just seemed as though I didn’t know anything at all. I joined the choir and struggled with choristers who didn’t know how to hold a part and kept colliding with yours and making rehearsal unbearable; singers will understand me.

Anyway, I was a fast learner and grabbed parts very quickly unlike other people but I had a problem; my confidence!!

I remember being asked to shut up and keep quiet one rehearsal day and worst of all, my Pastor shouted when he heard an off key I sang backing up one Sunday.

That experience killed me and I remember it made me become a master at giving excuses almost anytime I was asked to sing a song, lead a solo or even backup.
I would go late for rehearsals, lie that I had a running stomach or that I was stooling.

But somehow, I never stopped getting solos or opportunities to lead a choir piece or even back up, it was as though they were seeing a potential in me that I wasn’t.

What exactly was my problem? Confidence? fear? what people will say? I was often afraid, I didn’t want to flop or murder the song, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Unknowing to me that I was doing myself a great disservice. I was emptying my confidence tank, I was losing my essence and I was dependent on people’s praises.

Now, I’ve learnt to be willing to make mistakes, to be confident and yet be humble no matter what, to sing that off key because I can learn to be on key, that growth is possible and progressive and that just as people see your potentials, the first and most important person who needs to see it is you.

I’ve learnt today to appreciate everyone’s uniqueness, everyone’s capabilities but more especially I’ve learnt to appreciate my uniqueness and my capabilities; my gift is what distinguishes me from the next person and I don’t need anyone’s affirmation to know that I am valuable.

So please, don’t be held back by anything, keep growing, keep learning and don’t stop believing in what God has deposited in You.

I just pray my choir master and pastor don’t read this post, they’ll finish me for all those lies I told. I AM SORRY.

Hahahahaha 😅😅😅😅

Have a blessed week.

 4,078 viewing this post

Over 150,000 Monthly Visits Become our Face Of The Week here
Share your story with us: Click Here
For Adverts and Publicity on this blog, Click Here
Continue Reading

Lifestyle

3 Stunning Questions You Need To Ask Yourself In Life.

Published

on

Human being feelings are naturally erratic and can be swayed by anything either by force or by choice, there are some times in life that we will be confused about who we truly are, occasionally we’d get lost and live a life a false life but later get back on track, most of the times, it will be late to get back to who we truly are, 10% may actually be able to go back and strengthen their life but not everyone will have that privilege. Whenever you feel troubled or confused these are the question you need to ask your self.

Are you happy?:

As tricky as this question sounds, it needs proficient and thorough thinking, also the observation of your daily life, it might really sound somehow, but have you truly look at yourself and smiled? Your family and your surroundings does it makes you happy? Sometimes you’d think you are happy because you are adapted to your current life so much you couldn’t identify forced happiness from a genuine one, sometimes it might just be you confusing yourself that you are happy, where as you aren’t, everyone have only one life to live, and it’s really essential for you to be happy, being alive without “happiness” is like living in a dungeon with no spark of light.

Are you living the life of your choice?:

This is also another odd question that should ask yourself at a particular time in life, so many people have succumbed to parental bully, societal critics, and peer pressure that they are lost and they have no hope to return of which resulted in living a life pirated by another.

The way you want to live your life shouldn’t be sculptured by another, for one important reason “It is your life” and you should have full responsibility for it, as long as you ain’t retard or having mental issues. Your parent, friends, and spouse can only give their suggestions, it’s your sole choice whether to accept it or not, some people decision and suggestion might affect your life positively and the other way round, but if you use that opinion without thinking about the pros and cons, trust me if the opinion eventually went awry you’d blame the person that gave you the opinion first before blaming yourself, which is why you need to think to be responsible to yourself whether is gain or loss.

If you die presently, will you have regrets?:

Awwn, this sounds like some old shits!, yeah I know, Don’t worry you won’t die any time soon, but dearest, are you truly living a life with no regret? If you actually die this minute, will you honestly have no regret? Those life decisions you make will you really not regret it? The matters you left unattended to? The people you made oath never to talk to? The books you left unopened? Dreams you haven’t achieved? Will you truly not regret it?

I will always stand with the fact that ”live your daily life as if it’s your last” live your life as if you are gonna die the next day, you want something? Go and get it!, someone offend you? Tell the person and get that sh*t of your mind, You have a secret fantasy? Indulge in it!, this is not being wild or willful. This is you living your life the way you want, the way that makes you happy, there’s no point in living if you restricted yourself to some things, that’s like imprisoning yourself. someone once said to me ”everything in life is chaperoned by choice, you can either die to live or live to die” at first I couldn’t grasp it until recently, that what he meant was that you can either choose to live your life pathetically and wrongful to the extends that can’t be considered as living, that’s you dying to live, and you can also choose to live your life enjoyably, and vitally while patiently waiting for death.

 4,007 viewing this post

Over 150,000 Monthly Visits Become our Face Of The Week here
Share your story with us: Click Here
For Adverts and Publicity on this blog, Click Here
Continue Reading

Influencer's Corner

“You Are Not Fine. I Want To Date A Guy As Cute As Omarion” – Facebook Influencer Shares An Epic Story Of How He Met His Lover (See Funny Reactions)

Published

on

Many have actually wondered how Olumide Lawrence Odeyemi, a popular Facebook Influencer popularly known as GLOWVILLE got to meet his lover after a famous love story, remember the gist actually made waves in 2018 featuring on top blogs in Nigeria, Blogger proposes to girlfriend at same spot they met 5 years ago, it also got featured on Linda Ikeji’s blog then.

According to our source, he actually dropped a story of his life experience with ladies and how he eventually came to meet his lover, he shared it via his Facebook post earlier yesterday and it has actually attracted lots of funny reactions from his fans.

Read Full Gist:

Many of those who didn’t know me in 2016 have been asking how I met Dammy. Today, I decided to share our story one more time, hoping I won’t have to answer this question until 2024. 

Enjoy. 

A THROWBACK TO MY POOR ESTEEM.

I have always liked girls from a very young age. Call me ashawo, na you sabi. I enjoy their company and would always love to be seen with a beautiful chic. I had them aplenty right from my primary school days and never let them rest, my classmate Yemi Hayjaycity can testify to this. 

My fascination for fine girls grew so strong that I wrote my first love letter in Primary 5, but I never got to deliver it because my father found the letter in my pocket. The intended recipient of that letter never got to know about my feelings, neither did she know how I wished the ground would swallow me up when my father read the content of my well written love letter back to my hearing, laughing at every sentence that tickled him and asking me several rhetorical questions. I suffered for love sha , but that was just the beginning.

That embarrassing experience did not humble me, I continued chasing after girls. From my common entrance examination to my first Secondary School (Oshodi High School), I was lord among ‘oshomos’.

I got my confidence from believing that I was cute and any girl would love to be with me, coupled with the fact that I could talk my way into any situation and out of it. Well, it worked for me in more than 90% of the cases until I finished secondary school and went back home for IJMB preparations.

I got one babe’s contact through a friend, and we got talking. In those days, MTN XtraCool was the rave. I would sacrifice my food money during the day and sound sleep at night to speak with Tayo (Not her real name).

For over three months, we never saw physically, our friendship existed on phone; midnight calling. It was going as planned, she was falling, and I was grinning every night. The time came to ask her to be my girlfriend and she said we had to see each other before she would give an answer.

So, I got into my clothes the next day and marched straight to the address she sent to me. It was quite a distance from where I lived, but I climbed several mountains and swam through seas to get to my destination, all for love. 

I knocked on her gate and called her to come see me; her prince charming 

She came out to behold the glory of my face and I watched as a smile slowly disappeared from her face. It never returned!

She didn’t even let me enter into her compound. She rather wanted to talk outside, but I didn’t mind. I knew something was amiss, but I couldn’t place my hands on it. Was it my choice of outfit? Could it be the way I styled my hair? Was it about my cheap cologne? I had several questions in my head, but I managed to look unruffled.

Soon enough, it was time for me to leave, and she chose to walk me back to the nearest bus stop. So, I felt that was the right opportunity to ask what next.

“Now that you have seen me, what will your answer be?” I asked.

“I can’t date you” she replied curtly.

“But why?” I retorted, shocked.

“You are not fine. I want to date a guy as cute as Omarion” she responded with a smile for the first time in our conversation, without looking at me.

Silence was the case after then, till I got back home.

From that day, I started looking at the mirror consistently until I convinced myself that I was ugly.

Those words never left my head. I approached other girls after then, but it was with caution. I was scared someone else would say the same thing to me, and yes, a couple of them did. 

Some of them did it to make it look like they were joking. Others just gossiped about it, and I was opportune to hear. All these cemented the belief in me that I was not good looking, and thus did not deserve any beautiful girl no matter how much I tried. So, I stopped caring about my looks, being fashionable or anything fanciful.

Even when I ‘got lucky’ to be with some girls after then, I always adored them with the mindset that they did me a favour by agreeing to go out with me despite my ‘worworness’. But that was not enough to keep us together for long. We still broke up laslas.

Some of my female friends and colleagues also contributed subconsciously to compounding my damaged esteem. They would prefer to relate more with the cuter guys in our circle and just treat the rest of us (me) with friendly courtesy. This forced me to accept that fate. There was even a case of a guy whom I asked to help talk to a girl. The girl fell for him instead; it was that bad! 藍藍

This particular incidence got to me, so I started trying a few things my small brain could muster in order to look fine, but nothing happened. I even hung out with cute guys at some point, hoping it would rub off. That didn’t work. I later switched to befriending not so cute guys, so I don’t look like the odd one out, but they even had better luck with babes than me. Hard life! 

I graduated from OAU with that mentality and kept believing that I am ugly.

Much later, I became friends with another girl during the long wait for National Youth Service. I hoped she would be my girlfriend, but I soon realized I was not the only one on her case. I decided to give it my all, and get her. But despite everything, she opted for another guy that was not even so finer than me o  O dun mi gan!

I cried ehn…chai. If I didn’t know better, I would have said that was my first heartbreak. But I cried till I took ill. That was the lowest I had come since the Omarion incidence. I gave up on love totally, and finally opened my arms to fully embrace the fact that I did not deserve to be with any babe in this life. 藍

But God had other plans.

While nursing that heartbreak, my friend who had come to console me gave me a girl’s BBM pin, suggesting that she should be my rebound. Emi? Rebound? I never even manage to get one real GF, you dey tell me about rebound? Who me? Who form me? 藍

I sha agreed. After all, he that is down need fear no fall.

When I saw the girl’s picture, I saw that the girl was too beautiful for me. It was obvious that I would only be chasing shadows with her. But I needed to hold on to anything to get out of my mess, so I gave it a shot, just to have some new drama going on in my life.

We became friends on BBM. It took me a while to send her my picture, but I did after convincing myself that the worst that could happen was that she would delete me. To my surprise, she didn’t seem to be shocked by my worwority. 

I sent another and another, and it soon became a habit to send her pictures every other day. My confidence was gradually coming back. It felt surreal that someone actually didn’t tell me I’m ugly. Wow! See God! 

After 8 months of being BBM friends, we decided to see.

Memories of Tayo and Omarion kept haunting me for weeks. I was scared to my bones, but I eventually made the journey to her place.

I waited at the junction. She arrived. We saw. Nothing evil happened! God, na me be this??? I pinched myself a few times to wake up from the dream, turned out it was real.

She was more beautiful in person, but I still didn’t know what she had in mind about me. We went to her house, I met her folks and she made me settle down.

After staring in my face for a few minutes…

“You are cute, very cute” she whispered to me.

She was the first person to say that to me in years and it took me three days to believe. I kept looking at the mirror again, trying to see what she saw that Tayo didn’t see.

And yea, I found it!

I got my confidence back through the same medium I lost it; standing in front of a mirror.

I have Dammy to thank for that and I am deeply grateful. 珞

Really, no one is ugly; time and chance happens to us all.

Help people’s esteem, don’t destroy it.

See Funny Comments:

 4,484 viewing this post

Over 150,000 Monthly Visits Become our Face Of The Week here
Share your story with us: Click Here
For Adverts and Publicity on this blog, Click Here
Continue Reading
Advertisement

Advertisement

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

Trending

%d bloggers like this: