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The Dangers Of Unhealthy Comparisons

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“Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy” – Theodore Roosevelt

Social media is agog with a lot of people who take out time to share their achievements with the outside world. However, these achievements most times are fueled by competition and not passion, interest or motivation. Many people are always forced to believe erroneously that success is fueled by competition. Hence, they always want to accquire what others have at all cost. In the end, they find out that the cost of maintaining such things they struggle to accquire is beyond their means.

A friend of mine told me a story of two men who lived in a small and sleepy community. Success in that community was measured based on life’s luxuries. For the sake of clarity, let us name the men as Jack and Robert. Jack was a rich man who had several investments which formed the basis of his wealth. Robert on the other hand was a high school teacher who was paid by the government. Having seen the lifestyle of Jack, Robert felt he wanted to be known addressed as a rich man too. He continued continued borrowing from one end to the other to the extent that his wealth overtook that of Jack. Soon the was regarded as a very rich man and was ultimately crowned king. This was unknown to many that his wealth was borrowed. When time came for him to pay the loans he had collected, he was unable, and in the end, he was disgraced, dethroned and sent on exile from the community.

Let me be clear with this that success achieved through competition is always short-lived when compared to success achieved through restless struggles, perspiration and motivation. Now then question is this: “WHY DO PEOPLE ENGAGE IN UNHEALTHY COMPARISONS”? From my observations, humans engage in unhealthy comparisons for a plethora of reasons. These could include:

Firstly, a lack of contentment. From personal experiences, I have observed that a person who lacks contentment, will end up disappointed. This is because he never finds satisfaction in the little he or she owns, and that is the reason he or she keeps struggling to achieve what others have achieved. This in the end fuels jealousy, envy and hatred.

Furthermore, the desire to belong and not be left behind is another reason. This makes people hide under several covers of pretence and end up living a fake life. At the end, they become bitter, dejected and disappointed.

You can avoid unhealthy comparison by putting into practise the following:

  1. Endeavour to engage in constant gratitude. This shifts the focus of the mind from things not in stock to things in stock.
  2. Celebrate people’s achievements genuinely and never be envious or jealous of others.
  3. Understand the fact nature has allotted each individual’s time zones differently. Hence, what is today, might not be tomorrow vice versa.

Conclusively, understand that no athlete was ever rewarded for running on another’s lane no matter how fast he might end. And like someone said “face your process and let your biggest competition be your former self”


I wish you luck in your race for success. Do outline your opinions in the comments and keep sharing to others.

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Lifestyle

My Nanny experience.

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Babysitting used to be the most tasking experience for me ever. To think, I was gon’ sit, nurse, watch a toddler and apparently sing her to sleep was super frightening. All my life, I’ve never imagined being a sudden composer whose lullaby could lure babies to sleep.


Mehn….worst of it all was changing their diapers. God! tha’ part of babysitting sucks. I never appreciated cleaning up after everywhere is meesed up, and the only thing the baby does is to stare, smile and occasionally giggle. Maybe, they do that deliberately to mock their babysitter.


My first experience would be the best adventure of babysitting. Trust me, it never started too awesome. I was meant to enjoy my vacation at my cousin’s mid September. Since it was the end of the session, it was definitely going to be a long and amazing holiday for me.


The excitement of meeting my niece made the journey a lot brief. I remembered hurrying off the bus just to catch the earliest cab home. Tha’ was nothing compared to cuddling my soon to be baby.


On arrival, my cousin was excited, like too excited. I guess the thought of having a new roommate at home cheered her, and because her babysitter just left made it a lot easier meeting a replica.


I never knew I was about launching into the most demanding job ever. That same day, after I relieved myself my luggages, I freshened up and minutes later, my second cousin was around too, with her baby. The house was gradually becoming the unbecoming.

In a bid to surprise me, my cousins left for the mall, leaving their babies with me. Tha’ was the biggest mistake they made. My thought was like- ”These guys? For crying out loud, I’m the third child of three in my house. How on God’s green earth do you want me to fix this?”.


Boom! The babies couldn’t find their moms and as it’s expected, they started crying. Now, you don’t want to ask me of their ages_ they were 6 months and 10 months respectively. I was so confused and did all I could just to make things easier. Nope! it only grew worse.


I gathered their hometoys- Leggos and all, uhn-uhn; they won’t stop screaming. I suddenly became a mother of twins, and whatever melody came to my head, I sang. These babies were so annoying, they wouldn’t just give up. I hated cry babies, like “wt* is this?” I couldn’t can anymore. So, gently I placed both of them on a cot, waiting for my cousins arrival.

Moments later, the moms where home and annoyingly all they could do was laugh at me. I was like, “seriously, is tha’ all you two would do?”. I was beginning to think, what they did was deliberate, on the contrary it wasn’t.

Luckily, their visit to the mall brought me some goodies. My favourite chocolate bars, raspberry drink and biscuits, made my ordeal a little relieving. Days passed into weeks, and everyday was fun. I was beginning to enjoy my vacation and trust me, there was nothing compared to being an aunt. Most times, I went out, visited the mall with my cousin and had a top-notch treatment everywhere.

Then the unimaginable happened one day. My cousin had just left me with her baby to go to the market. She left her baby sleeping and I was happy watching my favourite channel on TV. I unexpectedly heard a mild cry gradually turn so loud; “Christ! Chrissy’s up”. I summoned the courage, went to her room, tried lifting her off her cot and guess what? She smells like….sh**. To think, I was gon’ change her diapers? Oh No! It’s ain’t happening; nah! Not now, not ever either.

I laid her back to bed, wanting to call my cousin to come early and clean her baby up. I started feeling so guilty doing what I just did and what I was planning to do next. I felt pity watching my niece cry cause she was in discomfort. I didn’t know what to do, maybe I did, but I was too careful not to. It was my worst nightmare ever.


Now, I was left with two options- watch Chrissy cry or see her smile. It looked so difficult, honestly; I’d never done this all my life. Why now? Okayyyy, I reached for her pack, picked a diaper and carried her. Then I remembered, my nose had to be covered. I can’t stand the smell of her poo. Nope! I need a nose cover. Next was her clothes; I gently pulled it off, and her messy pampers? Ewww, I removed it. After much struggle, I noticed I was sweating; “Lord knows, I tried”. Her clean-up tissue made it a lot easier, I washed up and seconds later I was done.


“Did I just clean someone’s poo up?”. Yh, I just did. My cousin was so proud of me when she came, and though I wasn’t so perfect in folding the messed up diaper, she taught me how to fix other stuff when next she wasn’t around. I was so proud of myself. Soon, I’d gotten over the fear of being alone with a baby in the house.


I realized how awesome and exciting it was taking care of babies. Although I’m still in my teens, the adventures in babysitting is one of the most amazing experience for me. Watching kids display all kinds of drama and the joy that comes with learning, tendering and giving these cute ones attention inspires me.


It applys to us too as social workers, students and whatever job it is we’re into. Most times we are faced with challenges we think we can’t surmount, and ultimately, we are the makers of these. Everywhere we turn to, gives us daring opportunities to launch and make something good out of these saucer-eyed fuss who won’t stop questioning our audacity and guts.

It takes decision, courage and determination to be able to do something you or anyone else think you can’t do, and you know what, that’s the best feeling ever. Oh yeah, cause, you get to reveal your resilience, whether consciously or otherwise.

When you finally find something else to show them, they’d have nothing to say anymore, and even if the “beholders” won’t keep mute, the only thing left to say is; “We never knew you could”. Now, with confidence you turn around and in one word you tell them; “I guess I dissapointed you, because I just did it”.


It takes a lot of Faith; the belief you have within, and a deliberate effort to finally bring your worries down and turn your crises to opportunities. When you find out how, acting on it would be very much easier.
It’s been three years now, and when I remember how it all started, I laugh at my coward self back then. It couldn’t have been more beautiful, if I never tried what I thought I couldn’t do.

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Lifestyle

Wow! You Can Benefit From Boredom.

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It’s a beautiful Sunday morning, (one I can only admire from the insides of my apartment), and I am stretched out on my bed, yodeling like a chicken. As funny as this sounds, you may not laugh until you see me. I assure you I’ll have made your day; It will be etched on your memory for as long as you can remember. 

I’ve listened to complaints from friends during calls, read chats and posts of how boring it has been for so many of us. Thanks to COVID19, we are required to stay at home; confined to this space alone.

Boredom is the state of being bored. Now, being bored, according to Cambridge’s dictionary, means feeling tired and unhappy because something is not interesting or because you have nothing to do.   

This is the perfect example of what we feel right now. You can’t go to the office to work, you can’t go out to meet family and friends, you can only call or chat with them on social media. You are going through the same routine each day; and your route spans from your room to the kitchen and then, to the bathroom; it’s like being caged in your own abode.

Boredom could also lead to mental disorders like depression, overeating, etc.  

As uninteresting as boredom sounds, has this question ever crossed your mind…is there anything you can benefit from it? Sure, there is.

Boredom encourages imagination and creativity. It can be a source of change, if you let it. You can get new ideas of doing that which you have been procrastinating about. When you’re working, you put off doing some other things; now is the time to put this into good use.  

We’ve fallen into the habit of “swiping and scrolling” our boredom away. Allow your mind to be creative. 

With boredom, you can be self aware; reminding you that you’re doing something you’re not enjoying. Without this, you may go on revolving in that space when, in fact there’s light at the corner. 

As much as boredom has benefits, it also needs moderation. Remember the saying, “too much of everything is bad”? In moderating boredom, choose the right activities. You don’t want to be swiping and scrolling all day, when you can read a book or write that poem you’ve always wanted to. 

You should also banish distractions. Stop doing things that would make you procrastinate. I’ve always wanted to write this article on boredom, the reason why I haven’t already finished it, is because i allowed distractions. 

Hey you! I know you dread a truly boring day, that’s okay. Just listen to what you need at the moment, maybe you need to balance idle time with periods of liveliness. 


Surmount boredom; and save your productivity and creativity in this isolation period. 

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Health

COVID19: 5 Ways You Can Engage Yourself While You Self-isolate.

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These days, it’s from the couch in the sitting room to the bed in the bedroom, then to the kitchen; I’m sure this place gets frequent visits because hunger is most active when you’re bored. Hence, the unwanted weight. You can’t help feeling hungry the next minute so you eat till your stomach screams in agony.   

Your house has become your own little world. Your only eyes to the outside is the television or YouTube videos; which is sometimes impossible when there’s no power.  I’m sure a lot of you can relate. 

On social medias, you see a lot of funny challenges being done, just to keep the mind busy. There are so many memes or funny skits being uploaded daily on how much boredom has eaten deep into the flesh of man’s mind. People who term themselves as “busy bees” cringe at the time and data they spend on the internet. It’s another outlook on life as it is.    

Extroverts are having a hard time. Face timing has become a necessity; not just a luxury; but some lower income persons can’t even afford it. Psychology experts say depression symptoms are likely to be intense this period.  

YOU CAN DO BETTER

You can do things that will be beneficial to your physical and mental health while you create and  keep the connection with your loved ones. Here are some suggestions:

  • EXERCISE 

You don’t want to come out of isolation looking like a walrus; so get started. Do at-home workout; turn your lounge into a yoga space and stretch out. Listen to music and dance; loosen the kinks.

  • READ BOOKS 

You can well equip yourself by reading good books online; improve your vocabulary, get inspired with escaping into a different world for a few hours. 

  • TAKE ONLINE COURSES 

Go online, there are some free courses on different topics to make you better. You can even study different languages or improve your IT skills. 

  • KITCHEN CREATIVITY

Be innovative about cooking. There are so many baking ideas you can introduce yourself to. You can do a rainbow cake to cheer yourself up. 

  • WRITE

How about writing? You can make a story out of the present global situation. Don’t wince about your lemons; make lemonades. You can even start a blog in the comfort of your home. 

Make the most out of these perilous times; engage yourself. Don’t use your data only for chatting and facetime, use your time wisely. You will have achieved more by the time the isolation season is over. 

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