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RAPE: How Ladies Can Easily Protect Themselves

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Sexual assault is now the order of the day. You can see it trending in both Twitter and Facebook with the hashtag #EndRape, #SayNoToRape and many more. Of course, rape is one of the major problems a country like Nigeria is facing. Where ladies can not walk freely at night. Where everyone of them are now getting afraid of their male friends. This is a country where a girl will be raped and still be killed thereafter.

READ ALSO:I Will Rape Simi’s Baby If She Turns 18 – Twitter User


It is very devastated that some people are heartless. This ranges from a father who takes delight in having affair with his own daughter without her consent, and even a boy who forcefully engage in an intercourse with his girlfriend.

READ ALSO: 13-Year-Old Girl Drugged, Gangraped In Kaduna

A popular actress, Genevieve Nnaji tweeted recently that women and girls are now living in constant fear of men. Of course, I can not agree less. This is not the time we start arguing that not all men are involved. This is the time we should all join hands together to combat the devilish act called RAPE.

Researches have shown that female gender is more vulnerable to rape. As a matter of fact, they attract more sympathy than their male counterpart.

This is why every young girl, ladies and women should know how to prevent themselves from this social vice called RAPE. Nobody could explain the trauma that comes after one is being raped. Some people decided to keep mute so people won’t laugh at them. They prefer to be traumatized for life than to become an object of mockery.

However, in order to prevent rape and the trauma that comes thereafter, the female gender should consider these tips:

1. Avoid quiet/lonely places: This applies to every student that are in one institution or the other. Either teenagers in a boarding school/ secondary schools or adults in higher institution. Always avoid a quiet place so you can prevent strangers from pouncing on you. Most rape acts are being done in a very quiet place.

2. Learn how to speak out when someone is trying to assault you: In some cases, you could notice someone has been trying to assault you. He might have been giving you the greenlight with the way he is acting toward you. Maybe he has been touching you in places you don’t like. Don’t hesitate to speak out when such things happen. You could speak to your friends or better still, report to the police.

3. Run when you notice a group of boys walking toward you: this is very important. Most times, ladies walk alone in a place where there are few people. So if you find yourself in a lonely road, and you notice group of men or boys are coming toward you, you should RUN!

4. Avoid walking alone in the dark: This is very important. Majority of people that are being raped mostly get raped at night. It is very important to prevent yourself from being raped by avoid walking alone at night. You could walk with a group of your friends, siblings or your elder brother.

5. Learnt how to defend yourself: most times, self-defense is the key. When you find yourself in a situation whereby you can’t run or there isn’t any escape route for you again, you have to defend yourself. Maybe by hitting something on him then find a way to escape thereafter. Even the constitution supports self-defense.

6. Don’t hesitate the urge to report any harassment to the police: if you’ve ever been sexually harassed, maybe someone touch your breasts or spank your booty, you shouldn’t hesitate to report to the nearest police station. Physical sexual harassment often leads to rape if care is not taken.

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Olaniyi Ololade Moses is a creative writer and a content creator. Author of a poetry chap book and a personate fashion designer.

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Building Families: The Role Of Parents

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Now and then, we hear news of sad stories where nannies or house helps left to take care of children cause harm to them. What an irony! Cases of this nature range from the children being sexually molested, kidnapped or even killed. Sometimes, the children are even a danger to themselves, they pick up habits; which if not watched, become hardcore addictions. What is the cause of these recurring incidents? The family is one important unit; it’s a school on its own. We all start our learning from there as toddlers.

In singlehood, no one gives a thought to planning how family life would pan out. After the boisterous preparation of the wedding, entertainment of guests and all, the assumption is to take married life one day at a time. Do you think this is the best approach?

Sometime ago, I happened to be in the midst of three gentlemen whose topic for discussion was about having a child immediately after the wedding or two years after. Each of them aired their views quite alright. It is a known fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You see, having a baby isn’t the issue—It is entirely up to you whenever you want it. The question is what happens when the child comes? As a parent, what do you do to better shape the behavioral and attitudinal inclinations of your child?

THE PIVOTAL ROLE OF PARENTS
The role of parents in their child’s life cannot be overemphasized. Have you seen a child whose first word is ‘uncle’ or ‘aunt’ ? Of course not! It’s either ‘Dada’ or ‘mama’ in their baby tongue. What does that tell you? Even this is only possible when the parents are around, because the baby becomes familiar with who he/she sees most of the time.

The child is taught etiquette; good behavioural patterns and character in the home. Who do you think makes this possible? Sadly, it’s at that stage that some become too busy, leaving the baby in the care of the nanny; sometimes for weeks. It’s a norm for most families, so they might not see how this can affect the child while growing.

EFFECTS OF PARENTAL ABSENCE
Parents whose career have more priority over the children would see the effects sooner or later. Their relationship is estranged. Even when they are around, there’s no difference; it’s like the elastic cord of family holding them together, after being stretched lax, suddenly snaps.

How would you feel when your child discusses their intimate issues with someone else instead of you? They will find solace outside the home, sometimes in the wrong people. Would you blame them? You do not have a family bond!

What about children who are exposed to sexual molestation from the nannies or even other members of the family? They can’t speak up because the same person who they’ve been close to, is the one who molests them. They loose their sense of trust and develop psychological trauma at an early age. Some become addicted to drugs, pornography, etc. They struggle with this internally even when they become adults.

Whatever action exhibited by the parents, whether positive or negative, always have an effect on the child; remember the children quickly grasp whatever they observe quickly at that tender age.

No one teaches you how to train a child in schools, it’s a responsibility which comes on you on arrival of the baby. You have to consciously make time, let your child watch you and learn from you. Like it or not, apart from inherited traits, we pick up certain behaviours from our parents. Ask yourself this question if you’re already a parent, what are my children learning from me? Or if you’re either single or married, what would I want my child to learn from me? This goes a long way.

What about children without parents? We are not unfamiliar with these special ones, we call them orphans. Imagine how children who don’t see their parents most of the time turn out, what would you say about children who have none?

WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Who wouldn’t want to have a close knit family; a family with a strong bond, that can withstand all storms of life, a family that eats, prays and stays together? Yes, we all do; but this isn’t just a word of mouth declaration, you should work towards this! No one is born with all the knowledge intact. We learn everyday!

And so, it’s imperative that you seek this knowledge. Read books on parenting, learn from others; no man is an Island. It’s true that no family is perfect, but as a family, over the years, you’ve gotten experiences and you know what you could have done better. You can help others to learn from your mistakes. We rise by lifting others!

For those who already have children, if you haven’t been doing it, please create a close relationship with them. Show them how much you’re interested in their well-being. Know what they spend their time doing and who they spend it with. Make sure they are aware that they can talk to you about any issue they’re facing.

When I was little, I wasn’t close to my dad, I couldn’t share anything with him. We literally always ran to our rooms whenever he came home. Imagine that, whenever I needed something, I had to write a letter and keep it where he would see it. That was what he required. I understand that he wanted to help us build our writing skills but he didn’t see that it didn’t encourage a relationship between us and him. This is important, know what your actions are doing to your children. As time went on, my dad saw that we weren’t close to him and he was perturbed. It’s a good thing that we can all learn from our mistakes and others too.

Learn to compliment your children. If this isn’t important, I don’t know what is o. Don’t be a standoffish parent. If your child does something you are impressed with, show it. Don’t only express disapproval when he/she does something bad. Don’t make them think you are unimpressionable.

You’ll make them crave for your approval and they won’t get it. Appreciate them, it boosts their self confidence. You know, if they go out with a low self esteem developed from home, people leverage on that and make it worse.

A friend of mine encountered this while growing up, she was constantly berated, sometimes for no reason. Worse still, she was very skinny. She was laughed at, not given attention, etc. Because of this, she felt ugly and unwanted, her self worth was at its lowest ebb. She was depressed and tend to seek love in places where she won’t get them. And of course, they were the wrong people.

Do you know this kind of situation could lead to suicide? You’ll be surprised at how your actions can affect someone. Please make a conscious effort to build your families in love. Make time for them now before it’s too late.

For the orphans, extend a hand to them. From time to time, show love. There’s so much love to give, don’t limit it to your family. The little you can do goes a long way. You can make time for them too, they are our children.

What are your ideas about how parents can build their homes? Please share in the comment section.

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Lifestyle

Talents: Holding Back In Fear Or Building On Them?

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My name is Stephen Umezurike and this is the story of how I went passed my fears, believing that I can be better. Today when i see how well I’ve grown as a singer and how good and different I sound, I believe that indeed growth is an achievable feat.

I had a rocky start as a singer, there were days where I felt like I didn’t have any talent and couldn’t sing. I was a great child singer and I remember getting a lot of candy and stick sweets singing Benita’s “Osemudiame”.

However as I grew older, it just seemed as though I didn’t know anything at all. I joined the choir and struggled with choristers who didn’t know how to hold a part and kept colliding with yours and making rehearsal unbearable; singers will understand me.

Anyway, I was a fast learner and grabbed parts very quickly unlike other people but I had a problem; my confidence!!

I remember being asked to shut up and keep quiet one rehearsal day and worst of all, my Pastor shouted when he heard an off key I sang backing up one Sunday.

That experience killed me and I remember it made me become a master at giving excuses almost anytime I was asked to sing a song, lead a solo or even backup.
I would go late for rehearsals, lie that I had a running stomach or that I was stooling.

But somehow, I never stopped getting solos or opportunities to lead a choir piece or even back up, it was as though they were seeing a potential in me that I wasn’t.

What exactly was my problem? Confidence? fear? what people will say? I was often afraid, I didn’t want to flop or murder the song, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Unknowing to me that I was doing myself a great disservice. I was emptying my confidence tank, I was losing my essence and I was dependent on people’s praises.

Now, I’ve learnt to be willing to make mistakes, to be confident and yet be humble no matter what, to sing that off key because I can learn to be on key, that growth is possible and progressive and that just as people see your potentials, the first and most important person who needs to see it is you.

I’ve learnt today to appreciate everyone’s uniqueness, everyone’s capabilities but more especially I’ve learnt to appreciate my uniqueness and my capabilities; my gift is what distinguishes me from the next person and I don’t need anyone’s affirmation to know that I am valuable.

So please, don’t be held back by anything, keep growing, keep learning and don’t stop believing in what God has deposited in You.

I just pray my choir master and pastor don’t read this post, they’ll finish me for all those lies I told. I AM SORRY.

Hahahahaha 😅😅😅😅

Have a blessed week.

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Lifestyle

3 Stunning Questions You Need To Ask Yourself In Life.

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Human being feelings are naturally erratic and can be swayed by anything either by force or by choice, there are some times in life that we will be confused about who we truly are, occasionally we’d get lost and live a life a false life but later get back on track, most of the times, it will be late to get back to who we truly are, 10% may actually be able to go back and strengthen their life but not everyone will have that privilege. Whenever you feel troubled or confused these are the question you need to ask your self.

Are you happy?:

As tricky as this question sounds, it needs proficient and thorough thinking, also the observation of your daily life, it might really sound somehow, but have you truly look at yourself and smiled? Your family and your surroundings does it makes you happy? Sometimes you’d think you are happy because you are adapted to your current life so much you couldn’t identify forced happiness from a genuine one, sometimes it might just be you confusing yourself that you are happy, where as you aren’t, everyone have only one life to live, and it’s really essential for you to be happy, being alive without “happiness” is like living in a dungeon with no spark of light.

Are you living the life of your choice?:

This is also another odd question that should ask yourself at a particular time in life, so many people have succumbed to parental bully, societal critics, and peer pressure that they are lost and they have no hope to return of which resulted in living a life pirated by another.

The way you want to live your life shouldn’t be sculptured by another, for one important reason “It is your life” and you should have full responsibility for it, as long as you ain’t retard or having mental issues. Your parent, friends, and spouse can only give their suggestions, it’s your sole choice whether to accept it or not, some people decision and suggestion might affect your life positively and the other way round, but if you use that opinion without thinking about the pros and cons, trust me if the opinion eventually went awry you’d blame the person that gave you the opinion first before blaming yourself, which is why you need to think to be responsible to yourself whether is gain or loss.

If you die presently, will you have regrets?:

Awwn, this sounds like some old shits!, yeah I know, Don’t worry you won’t die any time soon, but dearest, are you truly living a life with no regret? If you actually die this minute, will you honestly have no regret? Those life decisions you make will you really not regret it? The matters you left unattended to? The people you made oath never to talk to? The books you left unopened? Dreams you haven’t achieved? Will you truly not regret it?

I will always stand with the fact that ”live your daily life as if it’s your last” live your life as if you are gonna die the next day, you want something? Go and get it!, someone offend you? Tell the person and get that sh*t of your mind, You have a secret fantasy? Indulge in it!, this is not being wild or willful. This is you living your life the way you want, the way that makes you happy, there’s no point in living if you restricted yourself to some things, that’s like imprisoning yourself. someone once said to me ”everything in life is chaperoned by choice, you can either die to live or live to die” at first I couldn’t grasp it until recently, that what he meant was that you can either choose to live your life pathetically and wrongful to the extends that can’t be considered as living, that’s you dying to live, and you can also choose to live your life enjoyably, and vitally while patiently waiting for death.

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